I have no father in my life. I have never met my biological father. All my life it’s just been my mom and I together. Ever since I was little, I always wondered where he was, or why he wasn’t in my life. As I got older, I started to forget about him and I carried on with my life. But recently, at random moments, I would be reminded of my dad. I remember looking at the pictures we had of him and I would just cry. I felt so much bitterness towards him. I secretly hated him, yet I was longing to see him. Just to see where he was now, how he was doing.
Because I didn’t have a father-figure in my life, I felt as if there was something missing. Some kind of love that I wasn’t experiencing. This led me to search for love in all the wrong places, with all the wrong people. All I wanted to do was to feel loved, cared for, and noticed. I didn’t care who it was, I didn’t care what gender they were. I just wanted love.
I became involved in an inappropriate friendship. Inappropriate because I knew the truth, inappropriate because it was with the same gender. During that time, I was already a Christian, so I had the Holy Spirit in me. Throughout this relationship, He (the Holy Spirit) was convicting me. He kept reminding me about how wrong it was. How what I was doing was a sin.
After I stopped talking to this person, I was convinced that I stopped having feelings towards the same gender. But I was wrong. No matter how hard I tried to resist my flesh, I was just so powerless. I was trying to remove the problem without dealing with the root. I couldn’t do it on my own.
I needed God.
I needed His help.
During the encounter, we had a session about purity. This was the session that hurt the most for me. I had to dig deep into the parts of my life that I buried away. This was the time that I confessed to God the sins that I have committed against Him. I cried out to Him and asked for forgiveness because my sin was not just hurting me, it was also hurting Him. I asked Him to forgive me for my unforgiveness towards myself, and my father.
Praise God! And glory to Him!
After I had finished confessing and asking for forgiveness, I felt as if the shackles of my sins were being broken off. I could feel God Himself releasing forgiveness and love unto me. I felt all the hate, and bitterness leaving me. I was forgiven. I was freed.
If the Son (Jesus) sets you free, you shall be free indeed.
Love came down and rescued me. Love came down and set me free.
Glory to God!
Whoever is reading this and can relate to what I’ve gone through, id just like to say that there is hope! Don’t ever feel that this sin is too big of a problem because we serve and almighty God! Have you ever felt that there was something missing in your life, that something just wasn’t right? Well, what you need is Jesus. I’m not trying to sound corny, but you need Him. He’s the only one that can take away your pain. His love never fails, and His love satisfies. He never leaves you feeling empty, but He always fills. Legit. If ever you feel alone, He has promised us that He would NEVER leave us or forsake us. He is always with us.
Ps. listen to “Love Came Down” – Brian Johnson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifeJRC5lvhs) *** which is also playing on the encounter playlist
-Kate Minguez, 16 years old